Shhhhhhh! Don’t tell the Vicar!!!!!!

I’ve been a bit naughty recently! Another reason for not blogging that often…….

I’ve discovered a more subversive side of me that I thought I’d grown out of years ago…. and suddenly become the Bramley & District Methodist’s Potty Mouth of the Month. Allow me to explain…….

My favourite answer to ANYTHING!!!!

No! I’m not going out of my way to be rude – It’s just one of the things that’s been keeping me quiet recently – Naughty Cushions!!!!!

Remember Jane Wynn? The clever lady responsible for ‘The Handmade Alternative’ pop-up shop in Bradford earlier this year and the designer/maker of marvellous beaded creations and gothic gorgeousness that is ‘Wildheart’…… Well it’s all her fault!!!

She posted up a picture of some naughty cushions and bunting on Facebook saying how she wished someone local to her would be daring enough to make some…. Cue the ever up for having a go, crafting whirlwind that is me……. and see what happens. And, as usual, it’s been a case of lighting the blue touch paper, standing well back and holding on for dear life to your sensibilities….. again!

I’m on the search for some suitably kitsch squirrel and badger themed fabric if anyone knows of any….. I want to make ‘Badgers Rock’ and ‘Squirrels Are Nuts’ versions for a little ‘Woodland’ themed trio of cushions.

Now I’m certain you all know that I’m trying hard to make sure  I don’t offend you lovely folks out there in Blogland by selecting only the tamer options to share with you – But I think you possibly know that there’s a few shockers in the mix; Let’s just say that I definitely wouldn’t let the Vicar come for tea without maybe moving a few out of his general view!

Ooooh, Errrrh! They are a bit naughty aren’t they? Suffice to say they’ve gone down a storm!!!!

The ‘Bite Me’ cushion has proved to be the most popular thus far, closely followed by my homage to a long dead, Danish king that tried to stop the tide from coming in……. well that’s the politest way I can describe the design without posting a picture that leaves little to the imagination, lol

That’s quite enough of that!

Or is it?

Well, I did mention bunting too – And that’s coming along quite nicely thank you very much…………. No piccies yet though 😉

There’s just one more thing I need to share with you whilst on the subject of all things potty mouthed; Subversive cross stitch. Google it and you’ll come up with some marvellous examples – I’ve been making a few of my own to complement the assorted cushion designs. Just very small and simple, innocent looking items that maybe make you look twice once spotted from the corner of a beady eye.

Shhhhh! Don’t tell the Vicar!

Heh Heh! I love the little ornate frame and the fact that you’d expect some pious words of wisdom to be stitched and displayed therein……..

Erm, yes!

Want to have a go yourself? Here’s the chart I made for it; It takes no time at all to create and uses only whole cross stitches and two colours of thread; Perfect for beginners or seasoned cross stitchers alike.

Free to use etc but please remember to acknowledge the designer, blah, blah, blah 😉

I’m off to create a few more now and practise my cussing!

Happy Crafting Folks!!!!!

Boo! To you too ;)

I keep lists for EVERYTHING – And this week my ‘To Do’ selection is possibly rivalling a fat, beardy bloke living slightly further to the north of me with a penchant for reindeers, gift wrapped fripperies and the odd bit of ‘Ho. Ho. ho-ing!’!

Sadly, I have no elves to help me in my quest – So I’m working hard and keeping my head down in an effort to tick off the multiple things to be done…….

This month’s theme is embroidery; This week’s offering is a free cross stitch chart designed by me…….. In truth, I created it this time last year but I’m really up against it atm so apologies in advance if you’ve seen it before…….

You know the score – Please feel free to use this design but acknowledge it’s origins when you sell stuff you’ve made…..blah blah!

Use it as a motif; sell stuff with it, but don’t claim to have come up with the original idea. It’s ACID protected – So please don’t try to sell it as your own design – You’ll get put on the fat beardy man’s naughty list straight away….. then there’s the wrath of ME to contend with………. and British Copyright Law!

Until next week……. Happy crafting and watch yer backs!

Too hot to be inside!

Phew! It’s been a scorcher of a week – cloudless blue skies and a blazing sun from first thing in the morning until last thing at night. Lovely!

In truth, it’s been way too hot to stay inside for the last few days so my crafting adventures have been a bit thin on the ground this week; Instead I’ve ditched assorted projects in favour of the odd spot of sunbathing and lots of gardening…. Quite a welcome change really.

Here’s the only bit of sewing I’ve done this week – I think it may possibly fall more within the realms of embroidery though…..

A pair of cross stitched VW splitties – not quite finished yet but both destined to embellish different sewing projects.

Both these pieces of cross stitch are destined for separate projects I’m working on. The smallest one is going to be used to embellish a scented heart shaped sachet that I’m going to hang in the wardrobe of my camper van and the larger piece is going to be incorporated into a much needed needle case for any sewing on the go that I may need to work on.

They’re both my own designs…… and without wanting to sound like a right royal misery guts, I don’t really want to share them with anyone. They’re also ACID protected; For more info click here.

If you are interested in a bit of VW themed stitching there’s a couple of free VW themed charts that you could use here.

And I’ll share one of my designs with you too….. Suitably patriotic to help you celebrate forthcoming events in the UK throughout the Summer.

I wonder how many people actually do make a point of acknowledging the original designer when they make use of their free ideas?

Maybe it’s a bit late in the day to be setting to work to make a cross stitched Union Jack heart – what with the Queen’s Jubilee celebrations set to take place in only a few days time. However, it’s an easy chart to follow as it only uses whole cross stitches and a simple backstitch to outline the shape – easy enough for even a complete beginner to have a go at!

Please feel free to use this motif in your own work but remember to acknowledge the original designer when displaying or selling your finished work 🙂

Here’s the chart to make the job a bit easier…..

This motif can be produced quickly and easily; It is suitable for complete beginners as it uses only whole cross stitches and simple backstitching to add definition to the outline.

The sun’s STILL shining; Time for me to back out into the garden and water the plants. But before I sign off please note that next week see’s the crossover into another month and the new theme of ‘Dyeing’. I’ve got my rubber gloves at the ready and can hardly wait! Until then, Happy Crafting 😉